Sunday, November 27, 2005
(U wun be seeing this,but still I wanna wish u in my own way.)Happy 19 to u.~Just simply wanna wish u all e best.Be happy. Yes. 3 months back den,I had plans.But 3 months later,things seem very impossible.But anw,seems like nothing matter anymore.If only I were a better person.--------------------------------PP.FYP.=incomplete.Family=PLEASE just leave me alone for the time being.Vball=heartache.Studies=hopeless.--------------------------------Nothing seems to be going well for me.they never did anw.Wo yong yuan jiu shi na me mei yun qi.yi zhi dou na me de mei you yong.hao shi bai....just leave me alone...I will only bring down lucks to ur.time alone. i only want isolation....i will be able to handle these alonee.
;; right from the beginning12:42 AM
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
I'm looking forward to spending time alone, doing nothing but resting and thinking,probably with a pack of yoghurt drink or some alcohol* plus music in the background.
ALL alone. Even something like All alone at home? That will be nice enough.
I'm craving for alcohol too. Not too heavy.
Shall have a mini drinking session at Jsee's chalet.
Puzzingly, I wonder what's happening with me these days. What's wrong??
well...I think Im still not okay afterall.
even wai po realised I've lost the smile on my face I used to have.
more time pls...
adieuz.
;; right from the beginning9:17 PM
Monday, November 21, 2005
hmm...in dilemma now.
so shld I or shld I not?
;; right from the beginning3:53 PM
Sunday, November 20, 2005
if only u knew all of how i felt and all of what i wanted to say.take careadieuz.
;; right from the beginning5:47 PM
Saturday, November 19, 2005
It's been 2 weeks already. Yet I still cant seem to forget.Remember I had one entry earlier on saying.."I realised I've developed a habit..."That is....I din noe missing someone can become a habit.Im not forcing myself to forget. Bcos I noe tt such things n feelings cant be forgotten. They can only be pushed back into our memories while new happenings will refill the empty spaces.But there's resistance in me,refusing these feelings to be replaced.
Washout.
yes,all it takes is time. Yet how I wish I can reverse back time.Take care.Adieuz.
;; right from the beginning9:47 PM
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
She has seriously provoked tt annoyance in me.in approximate, only 1 outta 15 people may have such ability.so how about some *CLAPS for her!?bcos she has certainly done such a marvelous job to incite such anger in me.
F.u.c.k!F.u.F.u.F.u!*U#%^*(&*(**(&*(&!*)(62173512978*^!)(*(&()*)1][;./;;';..';`~Work hard!U can do it.Put in more effort for RJ.! BLahblaHblAh.Shitt from u!If RJ is everything that u consider, then where's the importance of putting in effort n showing understanding in class, when rj is the only thing u look at?!!!!!!FREAK U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!u r such an aggravation!if i were to go to IMH,u shall go with me!*evil thots...grinns*
;; right from the beginning8:10 PM
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Had difficulty getting out of bed this afternoon.
Felt sickish...
Been having migraine for a few days already...since friday.
and I was thinking "not migraine again.?..," when I woke up just now...
Now my head's feeling heavy. My eyes too.
blur....
;; right from the beginning2:43 PM
Yes, it has fizzled. Somehow somewhere, it just failed.Been thinking about this issue for a week, finally come to a final sentiment...even though there are still many many question marks of what has gone wrong exactly,lingering in my mind.Sentiment that is,nu li guo,bu hou hui. zhi shao wo bi chong qian hai you yong qi qu chang shi.[I've no regrets this time round, for I've been courageous enough to try, at e very least.]I've done what I can within my courage.. . . . . .. . . . .. . . .. . .. ..now i think i gotta move on.Adieuz.
[p.s.: u take very good care k. [= ]
;; right from the beginning2:11 AM
Friday, November 11, 2005
Having a migraine now.
=[
Someone told me this once,"not pain not pain not pain not pain x 5000time".
not pain not pain not pain.
]=
--_--"
;; right from the beginning2:04 PM
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Went back school for a Clinical trial talk,then went tiong bahru market with Zann,Yiming and Kaiyie for lunch.The chicken rice is nice.Carrot cake was alright.Grass Jelly drink was nice but too big I din manage to finish. Was so full even till 8 hrs after this meal,hence skipped dinner.------------------------------
It used to be my favourite time of the day.Now I'm beginning to dread when the night falls.
Unlike in the bright day,when I have friends to distract me from most of those dejected thoughts,I can only find all these thoughts coming back tohaunt me again in the night.I don't know how to describe all these feelings...maybe numb...no not exactly...hmmm...seems like the innermost part of me is feeling "noisy" and messy now.Intangible...So what's wrong with me exactly?I am only half alive...
;; right from the beginning11:49 PM
Monday, November 07, 2005
Just realise that I've developed a new habit.
;; right from the beginning9:52 PM
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Acted
irrationally tis very early morning.
i
couldn't think properly anymore nor contain my thoughts.
for a moment i wanted to spurt everything out.but den words jus gt tangled up somewhere.
Woke up this afternoon feeling really tired.suddenly everything tt happened just less than 12 hours ago,
seemed like nothing but a dream.
probably i was really
too impulsive.
However,i had already anticipated the results due to my irrationalness.
n now this would be
totally broken off.
u would
never wanna tok to me anymore.
. . .
Now i'm broken and aching...
;; right from the beginning4:09 PM
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
*I can sense the evil and wilder side of me wanna break free.how?....nitez peeps.Adieuz.
;; right from the beginning2:04 AM
